Jagged Dreams

by David Howard

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My debut album. Special thanks to everyone who contributed to the Kickstarter to make this dream a reality - and special thanks to Sam Clement, Adam Turner, and Akin Studios!


released January 1, 2017

David Howard - Vocals, Acoustic Guitar, Synthesizers, Ukulele, Banjo, Electric Guitar, Bass
Sam Clement: Electric Guitar, Bass, keyboards, shaker
Adam Turner: Drums
Hillary Chase: Vocals
Tito Longstaff: Keytar, Piano

Recorded, produced, and mastered by Sam Clement at Akin Studios




all rights reserved


David Howard Bennington, Vermont

David Howard is a Bennington graduate who never studied music. He is also the lead singer and co-founder of the band Mystic Force and David and the Adams.

In his free time, he enjoys writing books, music, and making pictures.
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Track Name: Freckles
Since you left, I have held my breath till I hold your hands again
The way your cheeks wrap around your lips when you laugh, I wish I was them
I need it, I mean it

Baby come here I really miss your smile, Honey come here and stay with me a while,
Darling come here, I need to count your freckles
with my kisses
Baby come here, I wanna breath your sunshine, Honey come here, I'll wait for you a lifetime,
Darling come here, I need to count your freckles
with my kisses

We kept from harm in each others' arms, there was only the sound of our breath
Your sparkling eyes catch me by surprise every time, the magic's still fresh
I need it, I mean it
Let's complete it

Oh! I want to be just you and me, just you and me
Track Name: Only You
I took a walk out in the dark to try to rest my beating heart
Taste the cold fresh air and rest my mind
When I heard the breathing following me, I turned around and I could see
How long have you been following behind?

You looked at me, cold fire in your eyes
I wish that I could say I was surprised
But baby, I understand

Yes I know I have to choose, but I'm scared of what I'll lose
Yes I know I said it's you, but I want to take that cake all right, and I want to eat it too
I know that's not fair to you

Well, I swore upon this golden ring, eternity's a fickle thing,
A man has needs, is happiness a sin?
You drifted down the river dear, a boat, a tomb, down waves of tears,
and all I want to do is start again

I swear to you you'll always have my love
I see to you that's simply not enough
But baby, I understand

And I know I have to choose, but I'm scared of what I'll lose
Yes I know I said it's only you, but I want to take that cake all right and I want to eat it too
I know that's not fair to you

Only you
Track Name: Follow the Wind
The wind had its hands in your hair the first time that we met
How I wished its hands were mine but your blue eyes hid their pearls
When I opened my lips to speak, time had already fled
The breeze had turned, and with it your eyes and your curls

Follow the wind and watch the clouds fall away and
Dance like the leaves upon the breeze far away and
Follow the wind and feel your heart fly away and
Close your eyes, wait, and let your doubts fly away

I could not sleep that night, you were spinning through my dreams
I said I love you a thousand times, but words are such feeble things
How many times I almost touched, how many times have I seen your face?
But how will I ever know if every time I just look away

But I don't know what to say, I'll defeat myself at every turn
At every turn, she'll turn away, I don't know if I'll ever learn
But if I take the magic inside, and I learn that I don't need to hide
Well then maybe we'll learn to fly
Track Name: Bullet Through My Head
Life was short, like a dream, we stand alone out in the street
I'm holding you but time's running thin and there are tear drops in your eyes
Stolen lips, just me and you, our lost confessions and a dream come true
But the blood that's screaming in my veins knows it isn't meant to be

And baby don't waste words on me, it's better left unsaid
And baby don't waste time on me, just save yourself instead
And baby don't hold back on me, cuz I'm already dead
If you want to say "I love you," put a bullet through my head

The hell we've seen now lives in me, ruined flesh and rotting dreams
Who knew I'd kiss the reaper's blade as the heavens fade away?
I feel the change, you want to stay, we walked like gods but God can't pray
If only we could turn back time but it wasn't meant to be

And the change comes over me, I can't hide from the monster inside
And the chains are shattering, I don't recognize, no I don't see you anymore
Track Name: Brand New Start
Years spin around, but I sit still, collecting dust upon this broken, barren hill
Cradling wasted talents like trophies, I'm proud to stay unchanged
With potential slowly drowning in the blood runs through my veins

And time, well time rolls by, I'm holding my breath, getting ready to die
I'm counting down with this beating heart, I think it's time,
Well time for a brand new start

I held my head up high and I thought I was well, I had no idea how strong was the silence waiting for its fill
Was it me or you who changed into a beast without a name?
While I've been eating dust you drink the blood runs through my veins

I open up the door and I let it out, they run in to find a dead man in this living shell
There's creatures eating me, the worst ones in my brain
And only I can see the sun drowning in the rain
But I've got to let my demons go
Track Name: This is Goodbye
Oh girl, there's something in the corner of your mind, beneath the shadows of a thousand lies
and now the clock is ticking down, and when the world you knew goes up in flames...
Are you ready to burn?

Hey girl, can you feel the sunlight falling through the fog? Can you hear the music twisting through your heart?
You've been living in a dream, but now the dream is ending, reality rending anew...
But are you ready for the fire?

Now girl, I understand why you may be confused, unsure of who you are or what you knew
And freedom is a cruel creature, luring you near, lighting up the truth...

And how does it feel to open your eyes? Stare into sunlight, feel the world wide?
But the shell of ignorance is cast away, face the truth, don't turn away
As the justice nears, the fire falls on you

Face the fire, stand your ground, do not let it keep you down
Rise again, oh rise again, don't you run and hide but face the end
Face the fire, stand your ground, do not let it keep you down
There is nowhere left to hide, as we face the end this is goodbye
Track Name: Run Away with Me
I did you wrong, I don't deserve mercy
And I wrote a song, I know it won't redeem, but
I've made up my mind, I want you by my side
If it's not too late, can't we give it one more try?

Run away with me, we could go so far, we could drive into the stars
Run away with me, we could make it if you hold on
Run away with, run away with me

You watch me squirm, I know I can't complain
By now I've learned, there's no one else to blame, but
I just can't sleep at night, my dreams are just too large
I've dug inside myself to find you had my heart

Run away with me, we could go so fast if you let go of the past
Run away with me, if you trust me we'll make it last
Run away with, run away with me

And I stare into those eyes, it's like I'm falling through the skies
You know that faerie tales always take their time
I'm saying I'll be yours, if you'll be mine
Track Name: Anorexic
You're anorexic, and it's toxic, and I mean it
Well this can't go on anymore
Cuz I can't take it, I want to break it, and I won't fake it anymore

There was a time when I enjoyed your company
But I'm choking on my smile and it's cracking at the seams
I want to step away without your guilting eyes
I'm tangled in your wreckage and I'm drowning in my lies

You crush me to a pulp when there's nothing else to hold
And when it's more convenient, well you leave me in the cold
I'm not the crazy one, I swear to God it's you
I'm in a maze and I don't trust anything that I once knew

You want self destruction, you want fire and tears
You want pain and misery to justify your fears
And I'm the one you've chosen to follow to your grave
Comfort you and perish, I'm your emotional slave
You're anorexic

You stick your fingers deep inside and vomit up your load
You wonder why I'm angry when you're shoving bullshit down my throat
As you grow thin and skeletal you're making me obese
Feeding me your sick little mind, your poison, your disease

Well, what's next? Are you going to eat me too? And then throw me up, along with all the rest of your shit?

You're anorexic
Track Name: The Land of Dust
I'm walking on the line, it's growing thin, kept steady so far, but who knows when I'll fall in?
My eyes deceive me when there's nothing here to see
I am alone here and it's hard to live with me

Walking in circles but at least I can still move
My thoughts will poison me and bar me from the truth
Why am I falling in myself? Even though there are no flames I fear that this is hell

In the Land of Dust, the high will fall
And rot and rust will cover all

Am I forever confined to this cold and cluttered mind?
Awake independent of the passage of time
Around me, the world turns to dust

My thoughts do not make sense, but I still feel
Have to convince myself that nightmares are not real
Why am I sinking in this brain? I fear despite my efforts that I'm already insane

When everyone else is asleep, why am I cursed to stay awake?
Marching like a soldier through these waking dreams
Gun in hand and desperate for escape
I know this is not who I am, and I know you are here
I'll hold on no matter what I say, I'll hold on to you my dear

And I want to be free, and I want to be me again
I want to be free, and I want to be me

I won't be forever confined to this cold and cluttered mind
And I will return to the passage of time
Around me, the world turns to dust

I want to be free
Track Name: Frankenstein
Well I watched you waiting for the chance, as you ate alone
But time was trickling through the cracks, and I can't be controlled
I waved, a smile upon my face, a twinkle in my eyes
You fell to me, you could not see the depth of my disguise
(or number of my lies)

I'm a monster, it's true, and though I love you
I will tear you apart in search of your heart

You held my hand, your lips so close to mine
I felt your breath and knew that it was time
I cannot stop the madness singing in my bones
I mean no harm I swear, but I can't be controlled
(and never be alone)

I'm a monster inside, the truth will not hide
I will rip you apart in search of you heart

I'm a monster
Track Name: Confession
(I'm coming for you)

My hands are cold but heart beats fast
I'm breathing hard, but I hear that laugh
So many sins but at least I lived
And now my soul is all that's left to give

And I know you're coming for me, I've been running for so long
I've run so many miles but every road leads back to you

Locked in a chamber full of snakes
Why serve God's will if I am only His mistake?
I want to hide but I feel your breath
You want my soul, but it's all that's left

And I'm crumbling to ash, but you rise from the dust
I've run so many miles, but can I still outrun the truth?
Track Name: Bleed
Sleep little child, sleep like I told you when the clouds hung low, and the rain was throbbing like a wound in your body, tight against my beating heart is a liar, empty prayer
Sleep little child, know that I love you and you're here little child, so hear me lie
I will protect you, your dreams are candy, happy sweet, taste you when you bleed

Fight little soldier, hold the metal gun in your shaking hand against my heart, don't break when you see him, crying and pleading for life, it's yours or his, this is
War little soldier, just like I taught you, kill little soldier, set your lover free into heaven, sky as read as hearts as they splatter, taste you when you bleed

Promise me you will come home, promise me I'm not alone
All of mankind splits apart, bleeding from its broken heart
Lie now that there is a dream, tear me apart at the seams
Singing laughing breathing tasting nothing but our blood

Promise me (promise me)
Promise me (what you can't keep)
Promise me (promise me)
Promise me (your lies are candy)

Sing little human, I think you're beautiful like rain in a foggy night, and stars will watch us, hear our music, promise me what you can't keep
Stay little human, we are not so torn like the flowers, drowned beneath the storm where we lost each others' voices, gone, into nothing

And bleed

If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die?
If you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If you prick us, do we not bleed?